I’ve spent the past few weeks being consumed by loneliness and drowning in never ending tears. I can’t stand being alone because my brain won’t stop thinking about the unfortunate ending of our story and how it could’ve turned out differently if we both made the right decisions. Thinking about the what if’s was the worst part because I know that it’ll make no difference; nothing will change in this fucked up situation I’m currently in. Us being happy together if I he didn’t give up easily, all it will ever be is wishful thinking.
I want to hate him for making me fall then leaving me behind, I want to be mad at him for hurting me but I simply can’t. The fact that I also messed up coz I acted like a complete ungrateful bitch before doesn’t help. I blame myself sometimes because I can’t help but think that I somewhat brought the pain upon me; it’s both our fault.
I miss him so much and I hate myself for not treasuring the times when we were still together. I wasn’t able to show him how much I appreciate all his efforts because I took him for granted. I miss the guy who constantly reminded me to sleep early, reprimanded me for not eating healthy and begged me to refrain from going home late because it’s dangerous. During those times, I acted stubbornly and I even mocked him for acting like a father. He worried so much about me but I never acknowledged it; I’m a dummy. I miss the weird and grumpy guy who acted like he doesn’t care about the world but protected, helped and cared for me so much. I miss the guy who didn’t talk a lot but made sure he expressed his feelings through his sweet actions and simple gestures. I miss the guy who constantly waited for several hours just to spend time with me. I don’t remember thanking him properly or showing him my gratitude for everything; I’m a dummy.
You may be wondering why I acted that way if I was really in love with him. This is because I believe that love is something tremendously special. Before I enter a relationship, I want to make sure about my feelings. I want it to be something that will last, not just another short time commitment where we will just end up hurting each other. I took my time for my feelings to develop and for us to get to know each other more. I learned a lot of things about him which I sometimes admire and sometimes frown upon. Honestly, he’s not my type but there’s something inside me that pushed me to give the chance and try if things will work out between us. As days passed by, I found myself enjoying his company more and more; it’s as if my day won’t be complete without him bugging me constantly. He’s a 9gagger who used to call me a badass just because my hand gestures resembled a meme. He’s very sweet and unbelievably cheesy. He loved sniffing my shoulders as much as he loved letting me sleep on his. He’s very impatient but he didn’t mind waiting as long as it’s for me. I realized that I already accepted his imperfections. He’s a weird, crazy, grumpy, rude, bad-tempered, anti-social jerk but despite that, he already succeeded in capturing my heart.
I looked forward to the day that I will finally and officially accept him in my life. I looked forward to meeting his family and friends that he’s been bugging me to do so ever since we started going out. I looked forward to finally letting him drop me off my home which I forbade him to do before. I even looked forward to taking lots of pictures with him because we never got the chance before. I looked forward to letting him know how much I love him too. I was waiting for the right time. The right time never came.
Unfortunately, even before I got the chance to express my feelings, even before I can begin showing him my gratitude and appreciation, he already gave up. He stopped courting me because he thought that he means nothing to me. To make things worse, another girl came into picture that showed him the affection he’s been longing from me. It took only ONE FUCKING WEEK and they became a couple already. I found out about them on Facebook which crushed me like nothing I’ve ever imagined. I hopelessly and helplessly cried my heart out to my friends, wondering why this happened to me. I didn’t even have the chance to fight back for him because I already lost even before realizing I have to do so. Everyone told me that he’s not worth my tears because he doesn’t deserve me at all. If he gave up that easily and replaced me that quickly, perhaps his love for me wasn’t strong enough. I’ve been forcing myself to accept that fact so that I can pull myself together but I can’t. I fell hard and I don’t know how long it will take for me to get up again.
I was left questioning how things happened so fast between the two of them. Whatever happened to the fact that love takes time and that it can’t be rushed? He told me he was there for her when she needed someone to talk to and that he comforted her when she was problematic. Just like that and then they love each other already? If that’s the case then I could’ve fallen in love with any of my orgmates and friends that comforted me while I was crying like a complete retard. However, there’s no use for me to question their relationship because I can see that they’re perfectly happy together. I am jealous because I know that I could’ve been her. It hurts so bad to see him so happy without me. Their pictures, wallposts, statuses; my heart feels like it's being ripped apart over and over again whenever I see these all anywhere.
I invited him to talk because I felt like I needed the closure for me to start letting go and for me to be free from the guilt and the pain. Ironically, we did it during Valentine’s Day which I guess made things worse for me. The moment I saw him, my heartbeat accelerated and it felt like it’s gonna burst right out of my chest. I realized how much I missed him and it made me sad. I told him everything that I’ve been keeping in my heart and I got all the explanations that I needed from him. I must’ve looked like a complete idiot crying in the middle of a mall while there were lots of couples happily celebrating the special day but I wasn’t able to stop the tears from flowing because of the unimaginable pain and frustration. He held my hand, touched my face and wiped my tears away. I felt like he still cares for me and that he still loves me but I can’t let myself be fooled again. I saw how sorry he was and how hard things were for him too but it didn’t change anything; I needed to let go. We were bidding farewell when he popped the question if we can still be friends; I wasn’t able to answer. We hugged in the middle of the crowd and if people didn’t know better, it might have looked like a scene taken right out of a movie. It’s one of the most painful and heartbreaking hug, knowing that I can’t hold on any longer even if I badly wanted to.
We exchanged text messages right after. He told me that he still loves me so much but we can’t be together anymore. I didn’t know if I will be happy because he still feels the same way or if I will be hurt because we can never be anything more. It can even be possible that he just said that because he felt guilty, and he didn't really mean it. Maybe I was under the hallucination that if he found out about my true feelings, he will leave her for me. Sana ako na lang, sana ako na lang ulit. But that’s all that it will ever be, a stupid and selfish hallucination. Besides, I don’t want to ruin their relationship. I’m not selfish even if I’m tempted to be sometimes when the sadness is just too unbearable. But who am I kidding? He's probably in total bliss right now and I never even cross his mind while here I am missing him everyday.I wanted to fight for him but I know that I already lost because he already chose to be with her. She’s pretty, rich, sweet, nice and she treats him well, what more could you ask for? I guess, I just have to accept my defeat in a battle that I never fought. After all, if he wanted me in his life, he’ll put me there. I shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Game over.
So here I am pouring my heart out on a blog site that I never really updated until now. I just felt the need to let it all out instead of keeping everything bottled up inside me. After all, only few of my friends know about this blog and most of my visitors are just my online acquaintances. So dear reader, if you’re still with me up to this point, thank you for wasting your time reading about my irrelevant rants. Sharing this with you makes me feel a tad bit better because getting it all off my chest gives me a strange kind of relief.
I still find myself crying uncontrollably every now and then. I didn’t expect that after 3 years of being cautious and not letting myself go too far after my last heartbreak, I will end up in this devastated state again. It feels worse than my past experience because at least, we were able to express how we felt for each other before things fell apart between us. As for this fucked up situation I am in, I never got the opportunity to do so. I took the risk of falling but the person I was expecting to catch me got tired of waiting. I’m left alone, wounded from being stupid enough to love again. It sucks, bigtime. What sucks more is that I know that there’s still a part of me hoping that if we’re really meant to be together, it will definitely happen. As if the heavens will make its way for us to work out again. OVERLY OPTIMISTIC, just like what he used to be. I think I definitely boosted his ego and man pride. After all, he successfully made me fall. Now, he knows that I'm still helplessly in love with him, he might feel like the most awesome guy ever. I honestly don't care anymore coz it won't make him a better person.Call me stupid, a martyr or a masochist but even if he gave up, even if he replaced me so easily, even if he played with my feelings, even if he’s happy with some other girl now, even if he completely broke my heart, I still love him with all the tiny pieces left that are still beating.I guess I need more time for this stupid irrational feeling to vanish.
So what did I learn from my biggest heartbreak yet? ANG MUNDO AY ISANG MALAKING QUIAPO, MARAMING SNATCHER. Hahaha. Just kidding :p Seriously speaking, I didn’t learn anything new but instead I just proved a common knowledge that I used to ignore before. Never take anyone for granted for you may only realize his importance once he’s gone. A cliche? Yes. Is it true? Definitely. Too bad I realized it the hard way. What a DUMMY.
As of now, we're friends and I think it's totally fine. I’ll be okay eventually, hopefully. In fact I'll be more than okay coz I'll be better than ever. I’ll be moving on and all this will be nothing but a bittersweet memory.
Oh Gahd! I just drop by here to tell say sorry for being inactive for more than a week. School started and I never thought that things would be so chaotic for a freshman like me. For heaven's sake, Yupi is sooooo huge that my feet are still sore from walking, walking and walking! Most of my classes are many kilometers apart so I actually considered studying how to teleport. Rar! I feel so exhausted and I can't wait to go back to Bulacan later so I can sleep the whole day and rest my poor poor feet.
We have readings for my subject Kas 1 and I don't know how to find them considering that the library here is in one large building! I'm too shy to ask 'coz making fond of freshmen is a usual thing in this university. In fact, in our Humanidades class, I'm the only first year and ako ang pinag-tripan ng prof ko! Grrr..
I can no longer update as often as before and I am sorry for that. I miss the world wide web but my hectic schedule can no longer afford hours of surfing the net. I'll try my best to post soon. Ciao for now...
It is really true that once you get used to something, it will take all your guts to be able to let it go. Saying goodbye is difficult, leaving something you learn to love is even harder. And now as I type the last few words for my final post, the sadness that I feel reflect on every move that I make. Tomorrow there will be nothing left but memories and a hope, a small hope that I will be able to go back to where I used to be.
Raar! Enough drama, I should stop before you actually thought that I'm an emow(no way!). To my readers (if I have some), I'll not stop blogging (hehe, gotcha there!). This will just be my last post on my last day here in my summer job at CJ Philippines Inc. as an office clerk of the Purchasing Department (whew!).
I spent almost my entire summer inside this simple office with Sir Chris, Sir Dots and Ma'am Judith. These 3 people have been very nice to me from the start and they actually treated me as the "baby" of our department. I only did simple works and most of the time I'm just a tambay here in the office. In fact, this week, I almost did nothing evryday except eating and surfing the net.
I was never hungry while I'm in the office and I actually grew fatter this summer (huhuhu). It is because except for the free lunch and tons food in the pantry, my bosses oftenly have food deliveries from Jollibee. The suppliers who are all sipsip never fail to bring snacks too (right now I'm eating a Red Ribbon cake brought by a supplier, hehe). So to sum it all up, baboy na talaga ako.=(
My favorite part of my job is the free internet connection. Our PC at home is broken so I only surf the net during work. If I will estimate, 65% of my time here was only spent in front of the computer. This blog was made possible by the CJ system so I give them my warmest gratitude. LOL... I've read almost 10 novels from Candy Teentalk still with the help of CJ Phils... So since this is my last day here, my blog visits will be lessened, hehe...
So I guess this is goodbye, CJ Philippines... I hope I can comeback next summer... Goodbye and Thank You...
During our freshman orientation in Yupi, our uber hilarious Emcees taught us a word that can replace the simple "yes" to make it more unique. It is "subraday" and you should say it with matching facial expression and emotions.
Baliw na Emcees: Masaya ba ang ang mga centennial freshies?!!! Uto-utong Freshies: Subraday!!!!!!
That is how I learned about that bonggang bonggang word which I find necessary to use in order to describe what I felt last Sunday.
Gernie: Nag-enjoy ka ba sa paggala sa Trinoma nung isang araw?? Einreg: SUBRADAY!!!!!
Oh diba, bongga! Lolz, and now I'm talking to myself. But mehn! That day was really a blast. Bonding with friends, meeting again with the SCC and seeing Sam after a very long time, what more could I ask for?
We left Baliuag at past 10 in the morning. The bus ride was really long so I spent my time chatting, especially with Rica whom I haven't seen since I took the UPCAT last August 2007. We talked about almost everything, from the kabundukan of Yupi to the description of Ivan's course (wadda heck was that again? total nosebleed!), to the lovable (yuck) "Charice", and so on and so forth.
It was almost noon when we reached our destination and we decided to go to SM first since Sam's show in the afternoon will be held at Trinoma. We walked around the place not knowing what to do, basta kung saan kami dalin ng aming mga paa. After few minutes of strolling around the mall, we went down to the food court to have our lunch. While eating, we thought of going to Timezone but we settled on watching a movie instead. After we were fed, we head to Trinoma to watch Indiana Jones 'coz the cinema there is better than in SM and not to mention, MORE expensive. Gahd! What will I do? I'm so broke 'coz my Mom "abducted" my salary in my summer job before it even touched my wallet, poor me.
As we entered Tri, the metal detector gave off an earsplitting sound and I actually thought that a terrorist entered the mall(duh!). Luckily it's just a glitch in the machine so the security guards say sorry for almost tearing our eardrums apart (raar!). We hurriedly walked away from the sound then we went to the 4th floor where the cinema is located. We had a hard time choosing where to watch the movie 'coz Indiana Jones is showing in cinemas 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7! Tsktsktsk... So since my favorite number is 7, we settled to watch it on cinema 5 (duh).
The Father in Heaven knew that I'm uber broke so He sent Rica to pay for half of the ticket price. She treated us 'coz uhm... uhhh... bakit nga ba? Haha... Maybe because she's just sooo rich unlike me. Lolz, thanks again Rica!=)
We entered the moviehouse early so we were able to watch tons of trailers including the teaser of Kung Fu Panda. Gawd! That panda is uber hilarious so I can't wait to watch his movie and of course the music video of Sam in the end! Harhar...
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skulls rocks! The movie is really great, the effects, the story, the actors! Gahd Shia LaBeouf is so damn hot! Even if his look is somewhat from the 60's he is still very handsome and oh-so-gorgeous. Raaar... So over all, the movie is really excellent (I learned later on that Sam also watched it and he found it great too, hehehe).
After the movie, I was still clueless on where the mallshow will take place. There were cars in the activity center and it's impossible to have a show there so Berna and I decided to ask the concierge.
Gernie: Miss saan po yung mall show ng Kung Fu Panda?*magalang pa*
Lady: ano yun?
Gernie: ung mall show po
Lady: anong show?
Gernie: sa Kung Fu Panda po
Lady: Kung Fu???? *uber clueless ng mukha*
Gernie: yung film po
Lady: *napangiti, mukhang alam na niya* ahh, papadevelop kayo?
Gernie: *trying not to laugh* aahh, sige nevermind na lang po *sabay walk out*
I just let out my laughter after we were many meters away from the concierge desk. wtf? Kamusta naman un, papadevelop daw! Lolz. Suddenly, Kuya Noriel texted that they were already in the garden so I went back to the 4th floor to begin my search and rescue operations=).
I easily saw Kuya Noriel and Kevin with a girl who turned out to be Kev's classmate na kaapelyido ko and actually my long lost sister (echoz! 2 lng kami ni Bebs noh, hehe). We knew that Sam is already in the vicinity when we saw Tito Raymund holding what seems like Sam's costume for the show. I got really excited 'coz after more than 3 months, I will be able to see him again.
The show will start at 4pm so while waiting, thay related to me the story of their EK escapade the day before so once again I got really jealous. I wanted to go there too but Laguna is miles away from Bulacan and my Dad will bury me alive if I go home at 1am! So there I was, sulking while listening how they enjoyed the whole EK experience.
Anyways, the Emcee was already inviting the shoppers to watch the show and he (or she) kept on saying that Zzzzaamm Conzzepzionn (that's how he pronounced it) will be there. The three of us went near the stage and there we saw the other SCC members. Ate Claye, Ate Joy, Janelle, Ia and Chichi was already there. Rica, Ivan, Berna and I sat on the other side so I was separated to the SCC's and I didn't notice the others who came.
The show started and the huge and huggable Po went out of the stage. Ala lang, nagpacute lang siya dun, jokez. Since he can't do much with his enormous costume, the panda just posed on the stage while the Emcee is reading trivias about the movie then he asked the audience to remember what he said so we can win in the game afterwards.
After the kadaldalan of the Emcee, Sam went out and sang I'll Find Your Heart which is his latest single from his debut album. He greeted everyone then told us a brief info on how he was chosen to sing the OST of Kung Fu Panda. That was such a big accomplishment for Sam and I am so proud of him(ackk feeling ako! haha). Right after that, he introduced his next song which made everyone in the venue shriek with excitement. Ano pa nga ba, edi Even If! He sang and dance with the 24 beat dancers then he left the stage to prepare for his next song.
Once again, the Emcee went out and told us about the trivia game on which the winners will receive a loot bag from Dreamworks. The kids got really excited so when the game began, they all rushed near the stage so they can be the one to answer the questions about the movie. Few minutes later the kids can no longer answer the given query and luckily, I know the answer! So since I want to have that loot bag (isip bata! rar), I went in front and proudly said "Tai Long". He said that I'm correct and even added that I have a nice outfit (inggit ang lola mo, haha). When I opened the bag, sobrang pambata, it has stickers, pins, calendar and this uber cute "christmas stockings" inspired by the Bee Movie. I first thought that it was a scarf but the plastic says that it's a stocking achuchu. Whatever, basta it's cute!
Sam went back to the stage with his nice Chinese outfit and sang Kung Fu Fighting. The show ended and the fans lined up for a short meet and greet session with Sam. Since the line is too long and the time given is too short, I didn't bother to follow the line. The SCC gathered and they are all set to go to Ever Commonwealth except for me 'coz I need to go home early. I'm so devastated so when Sam looked my way umandar ang kakulitan ko.
Me: SAAAAMMMM!!! *while waving my hand* Tara ditoooooooooooo!!!
Sam: Saaaannddallleee... Wait laaaaang... *then he smiled*
Our conversation is exaggerated 'coz we can't hear each other and we only mouth the words we were saying. Ang kulit ni Sam sobra! I badly want to have our picture taken 'coz I'll not be going to Ever anymore so when Sam began to leave I step up and ignored the guards.
Me: hi sam *he smiled* pwede papicture?? *he stopped walking, alang nagawa ung guards*
Sam: mamaya na lang *he smiled*
Me: but uuwi na ako, di na ako pupunta sa Ever *pouts*
Sam: oh sige, sure *smile nanaman weee*
Guard: *umepal* last na yan ha!
(we had our picture taken)
Sam: thanks, sige ingat! *smile uli, awww*
Wawawawaw! Kilig to the bones! Even the other SCC's got giddy and also my friends, I mean who would not be? LOLz... After that, I bid farewell to my SCC friends hoping to see all of them again, soon.=)
Rica also bid farewell 'coz her Mom will fetch her in Trinoma. Ivan, Berna and I headed to the foodcourt 'coz we are all starving. I bought my all time favorite, Jamaican Patty then Berna treated us drinks from Fruitas (shock umaasa na lang ako sa libre! Lolz). We rode the bus then due to severe traffic jam, I got home at almost 8pm. It was such a fun day and if you will ask me again if I enjoyed it my answer will still be, SUBRADAY!n_n
This morning, I was awakened by the loud sound of Inang's (our neighbor) radio. I dunno if she just thought of having an unannounced concert or what. I was deeply agitated because of the sudden disturbance on my slumber. This won't be the first, in fact it was the fourth time that our extremely "considerate" neighbor disrupted my peaceful sleep. I mean, what was she thinking? She's rocking to the music of "Awit ng Kabataan" at 6 o'clock in the morn as if she still belongs to the "kabataans"? Grrr... Inang badly needs the help of an EENT specialist.
You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
Sounds weird but my mood changed as the next song played. I totally forgot about my disturbed sleep and suddenly, I felt sad. Perhaps that is the effect of a cheesy lovesong to someone who is not inlove. People of the world (as if anybody from the world would care to read my blog...haha) you read it right, I'm not inlove unlike what most of my friends thought me to be. And as of now, my record of "no boyriend since birth" is still clean and I think that won't be broken anytime soon. Like what my title clearly states, I am NOT inspired.
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
The song continued as well as my own drama. I can't understand why it felt like there's something missing. I felt so incomplete. Then I started singing "there's no meaning in my life, there's no inspiration". LOL... I sound so desperate, so emoooww. But no no no, I am not coz being an emo doesn't make sense to me, I actually think that they are just bunch of individuals who lack attention. (no offense guys). Anyways, short senti moments won't hurt so there I was emoting early in the morning.
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you
Then I remembered my Ezt. It's been more than a month since he migrated to California and I shamelessly say that I miss him more than anything in this world! We still have contact to each other but it's nothing compared to our long talks when he's still here in the Philippines. I sorely miss bestfriend and I do wish that he'll be back. He made me feel happy and contented of just having a bestfriend 'coz he cares for me so much. I actually thought that we can stay like that forever. But now that he's gone, thinking about him made me feel sadder and more alone. I desperately need someone who will not leave me, someone who'll stand by me no matter what.
You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul
It's not that no one came, in fact there were few ghosts I mean guys that are "nagpaparamdam" and asking if they could court me. I always turn them down and say that it is still bawal and my parents forbid me to have relationships. But the truth is I'm not forbidden to have a boyfriend, it's just that I honestly feel that they aren't the one that I'm looking for. I don't want to rush things just to be in a relationship for I still believe that the right one will come at the right time. But mehn! I am just a girl, a girl longing for care and affection. And at times like this na tinotopak ako, I can't help but wish na dumating na agad "siya".
The song ended and another one starts playing. The song is perfect. I think this one suits me the best.
Maybe we're trying, trying too hard Maybe we're torn apart Maybe the timing, is beating our hearts We're empty
Baka inyong isipin na ako’y taga-bundok dahil sa aking taytel. Inosente baga? Ngunit kayo’y nagkakamali dahil ang tinutukoy ko ay ang aking first Manila escapade ng mag-isa. Nakakatawa dahil hindi na latest ito eh naisipan ko pa ilagay dito. Aba walang pakialaman, blog ko ‘to noh...
April 18, 2008 Friday
Nag-umpisa ang aking araw sa ganap na ika-4 ng umaga. Kailangan ko kasing gumising ng maaga para ihanda ang gamit na dadalin ko sa Yupi at sa aming swimming party. Naeexcite na ako dahil muli kong makikita ang aking mga kaibigang adik kay Sam (wuahaha) na noong Pebrero ko pa huling nakita. Sabi ni Dadi na 6am dapat ako umalis ng bahay para makarating ako dun bago mag-8. Eh alam naman ng lahat ang aking kakuparan samahan pa ng kakuparan ni Mami sa pagbibigay ng isa sa pinakamahalagang bagay sa aking adbentyur, ang baon kong pera. Ayun 6:30 na ako nakatapak sa aircon bus ng Baliuag Transit na byaheng Cubao.
Pagpasok ko sa bus sumalubong agad sa akin ang halimuyak ng air freshener na korteng krismas tri, di ata kumpleto ang bus pag wala nito. Sa paghahanap ko ng mauupuan ay pinaandar na agad ito ng drayber na may galit ata sa akin kaya’t muntik nang sumubsob ang cute kong mukha sa upuan ng isang groovy na lolang tila galing sa lahi Madam Auring. Nakarating ako sa dulo ng bus at ang nakita ko lamang na bakanteng upuan ay sa tabi ng isang mamang mukhang isa sa mga goons sa pelikula ni FPJ. Sa ngalan ng Ama, Anak at Espiritu Santo, goodluck sakin.
Nagsimula ang mahabang byahe at nadaanan ko ang mga pamilyar na lugar tuwing luluwas ako ng may kasamang mas matanda. Pero ngayon, I’m all alone. Himala nga kasi pinayagan ako. Siguro preparations na rin para sa college.
Traffic. Billboards. Rugby boys. Malapit na ako sa aking destinasyon. Dahil Yupi ang una kong pupuntahan, pumara ako sa kanto bago ang istasyon ng MRT ngunit hindi huminto ang mabait na bus driver, sa MRT nalang daw mismo ako bumaba. Kaya hayun muntik nanaman ako masubsob saka palang ako nakalanghap ng sariwang hangin o should I say usok. Anlayo tuloy ng aking nilakad papunta sa harap ng Trinoma kung saan matatagpuan ang mga jeep byaheng Yupi. Pagsakay ko ay napuno naman agad ang jeep pero oh my sinabawang gulay, artista yata ang aking katabi! ‘Pag nakasideview eh may hawig siya kay Dan Radcliffe. Ohlala... Kaya lang ay hindi pala siya kaloob sakin ng Maykapal dahil di nagtagal ay napagtanto kong gf niya ang gerlalu sa kanyang tabi. Tsktsktsk(ganun?)...Habang patuloy ang aking panghihinayang ay naramdaman ko na lamang na kami ay nasa Yupi na dahil nakita ko ang napakaraming tent ng mga nagcacamping na boy scouts. Nakita na namin sila noong Miyerkules at akalain mo andun pa rin sila. Sa Vinzon’s Hall na ang huling stop ng jeep. Napakalayo pa nito sa UPHS na aking dapat paroonan. Eh anu nga ba ang magagawa ko? Inumpisahan ko ang paglakad sa masukal na kagubatan este kaYupihan pala. Sa di kalayuan ay nakakita ako ng grupo ng boy scouts na nagmamarcha , nainggit ako kaya nakimarcha ako sa kanila. Mukhang tanga lang eh. Wahaha...
Pagdating sa UPHS ay pudpod na ang aking tsinelas at dahil nga sobrang swerte ko, tinalakan ako ng matandang mangkukulam sa Table3 dahil wala pa daw ang x-ray results. 45 minutes ako napanis sa paghihintay sa kaprasong papel na galing pa sa ilalim ng building ng UP Health Service. Nang sa wakas ay makuha ko na ang aking pakay, nagmadali na akong makarating sa aking next destination. Traffic kaya quarter to 9 na ako binaba ng jeep sa Mcdo sa tapat ng Trinoma. Huli na ng narealize ko na isang kilometro pa ata ang layo nito sa istasyon ng MRT. Mataas na ang sikat ng araw kaya maagang sun bathing with matching jogging ang drama ko. At ano pa nga ba? Late na ako. Pagdating ko sa MRT, Mama Mia Santa Claus! Parang flag ceremony sa haba ang pila! 9:20 na ng makapasok ako sa tren at doon ay nakawitness ako ng isang tagpo sa teleserye.
Babae 1: (irap)”Nasa loob ka na nga bakit nanunulak ka pa ha?!” (irap uli) Babae 2: (taas ng kilay) “Nakaupo ka na nga, ano pa ba problema mo ha?!
Huwaw! Parang si Marimar at Angelica na pinagaagawan si Sergio este ang upuan sa MRT. Nakakatakot ang panlilisik nila ng mata sa isa’t-isa. Nang makwento ko ito kay Mami, sabi niya ay patikim pa lamang iyan ng mga kadramahang karaniwang nagaganap pagsakay sa MRT. 9:30 ako dumating sa Mega. Hinanap ko agad ang Mcdonald’s at doo’y nakita ko na sila Ate Claye, Ate Teenah, Janelle, Pau at Ghelai and Bro. Awa ng Diyos ay hindi pa naman nila ako sinusumpa. Mayroon pa pala kaming ibang hinihintay. Si Ate Claye naiwan ang wallet niya sa bahay at ayun, namromroblema kung paano siya makakauwi. Si Janelle naman ay napakabusy sa paglalaro ng kanyang PSP. Makalipas ang ilang sandali ay dumating na daw si Sia. Pinuntahan namin siya sa Jollibee at nagsimula na kami ng aming paglalakbay tungo ng Pasig.
Balik sunbathing nanaman ako, matindi na talaga ang epekto ng Global Warming, Greenhouse Effect at Climate Change sa Earth. At bago pa ako dumiretso sa pag-nonosebleed i2loy nalang natin ang aking kwento. Ilang minuto pa at nakarating na kami sa sakayan ng jeep papuntang Rotonda. Di ko nga alam kung anung lugar iyan pero bahala na! Alam naman(sana) nila ang aming patutunguhan. Napakainet! Mejo mahaba din ang byahe kaya mejo sumasama na rin non ang aking pakiramdam. Buti nalang bago pa man din ako matuluyan ay bumaba na kami saka naman naglakad papuntang sakayan ng tricycle. Naaliw naman ako sa sinakyan naming tricycle dahil meron itong front row at back row. Nun lang ako nakakita ng ganun kaya gumana nanaman ang pagka-inosente ng lola nyo.
Sa wakas ay naaninag na namin ang Greenwoods Subdivision kung saan matatagpuan ang lugar na pagdadausan ng aming party. Kumatok kami sa gate ngunit tila walang nakakarinig. Nakita namin ang mga tao sa loob pero wala paring pumapansin hanggang mag-eskandalo na kaming lahat. Laking gulat na lang namin na bukas naman pala ang gate... Anu ba yan, gutom na ata kami.
Pagpasok ay nakita ko na agad ang aking mga pinakamamahal na samsters. Napansin ko agad sila Ate Sarah at Ate Chloe na nag-iihaw ng hotdogs. Sobrang namiss ko sila especially si Ate Chloe na nung Xmas party ko pa huling nakita. Sumalubong din si Ate Madz at Kuya Noriel na na-shock sa aking pagdating dahil akala niya ay hindi ako makakapunta. Pagpunta ko sa may videoke ay naabutan kong nag-coconcert si Ate Yhen at si Kevin. Nakita ko din si Bea at marami pang ibang samsters na bago kong nakilala.
Inaya na ako nila Ate Claye na magpalit ng damit upang kami’y makapag-swimming na. Bago lumubog sa tubig ay nanghunting muna ako ng sunblock dahil ayokong maging ulikba pagkatapos ng araw. Salamat sa sunblock ni Bea na mataas daw ang SPF. Utang ko sa kanya ang hindi pag-itim ng aking kutis. Nang handa na ang lahat ay lumapit kami sa pool, at dahil walang magawa si Ate Claye ay itinulak nya ako kaya dumulas akosa hagdan (aylabyu te claye). So ayun, swimmingan na. After ilang sandali ay umahon din kami, napagdesisyunan namin ni Te Sarah at Te Chloe na ituloy ang pagiihaw ng barbecue kahit kaunti ang uling dahil nakapagpabili na sila.
Nauwi sa kwentuhan ang masaya naming pag-iihaw. Di nagtagal ay jumoin samin si Kevin na nasapok ko dahil inaate at pino-po ako as if sobrang tanda ko na. Siya ang naging taga-ihip upang magbaga ang mga uling. Expert pala si Kev dito kaya di na kami nahirapan, yun daw kasi ang uso sa kabundukan nila kaya sanay na sanay na siya (piz awt). Nagswimming na muli si Ate Chloe pero pumalit sa kanya si Kuya Noriel na ayaw naman magswimming dahil takot maarawan. Kinuwento ko sa kanila ang nauna kong adbentyur sa UP nung Miyerkules na nagkataong bertday ko at para makarelate kayo ay ikwekwento ko ang pinakamalupit na part.
Nakapila na ako para sa physical exam, napakatagal kaya’t nauna matapos si Ian na ibang doktor ang nagcheck-up. Sinabi niya sa akin na wala naman daw pinagawa sa kanya. Nakichismis lang daw ang doctor sa kanyang buhay at pinahinga siya ng ilang beses. Nakahinga ko ng maluwag dahil hindi pala totoo ang sabi-sabi na paghuhubarin ka sa physical exam sa Yupi. Nang tawagin ang aking numero ay dali-dali akong pumasok sa pintuan at doon ay nakita ko ang matandang doktora. Eto ang nangyari...
Dra.: Lock the door! Take off your BLOUSE and your PANTS! Gernie: (nasa state of shock) po? Ok...
Ansaya db? Parang naholdap lang ako pagpasok ng kwarto na iyon. Hindi ko makakalimutan kung paano ako natameme pagkatapos nun.
Nang marinig nila ito ay halata ang kanilang pagkagulat. Pero si Kuya Noriel ay may sariling hirit. Tungkol naman ito sa physical exam sa mga lalaki. Ganado siya sa pagkwento ng bigla silang tawagin ni Ate Madz para gawing props sa game. Nagreklamo si Kuya Noriel dahil naeexcite siya sa pagkwekwento pero ala siyang nagawa kaya sinabi na lamang niya na tandaan ko ang aming topic. Nainggit kami ni Ate Sarah sa mga naglalaro ng ewan (hndi naman namin nalaman kung ano yung game). Nagpatuloy kami sa pag-iihaw at pagkwekwentuhan ng dumating ang kalahating sako (tancha ko lang) ng uling na sa sobrang dami ay malamang pati kami ay maihaw. Nakabalik na rin ang aming taga-ihip na si Kev at ang excited sa kwento na si Kuya Noriel kaya nagsimula na siya. Wala pa man din akong naiintindihan ay wala nang sinasabing matino si Kuya Noriel, puro “basta” at “ano” na lang ata ang narinig ko. Kaya pala ay censored ang kanyang kwento. Hindi ko na ilalagay dito dahil baka mareport ang hamak kong blog. Basta physical exam ng lalaki at lalaki yung doctor, yun na yun! (Ian, pasalamat ka at tamad ung nag-check up sayo, n_n)
Nagbalik na rin si Ate Chloe, sabi namin ay siya naman ang substitute kasama ni Kuya Noriel (awwwww...... “muling ibalik ang tamis ng pag-ibig”). Ilang sandali lang ay nagsimula na ang kainan ng mga gutom na samsters. Andaming pagkain, tila hindi namin ito mauubos. Sa kalagitnaan ay nag-grand entrance naman ang mahilig sa extremes na si Ate Ada dahil siya ngayon ay extremely late(uli). Well, it’s better late than never di ba Te Ada.
Pagkatapos ng kainan ay swimmingan nanaman syempre. Naisipan nilang maglaro laro na hindi ko alam ang tawag. Basta by pair sya at maglalaban ang dalawang girls habang nkasakay sa balikat ng ka-pair niya. Nagkaroon ng unang laban at nagwagi sina Ate Chloe at Ate Teenah laban sa kina hindi ko na maalala(hehe). Kami dapat ni Ate Claye ang lalaban sa defending champions ngunit hindi kinaya ng powers ko ang bigat niya kaya kaysa pareho kaming malunod ay napagdesisyunang si Ate Yhen nlng ang papasanin ko. Matapos ang dalawang round ay umuwi kaming luhaan. Hindi namin kinaya ang team up ng batong si Ate Chloe at ang papel na si Ate Teenah (ahehe... piz!). Matapos nito ay nagkaroon ng Q & A courtesy of Boy Abunda este Ate Yhen pala. Nauna ang pinakamamahal naming president na si Ate Madz at sumunod na ang ibang members na nasagapan ko ng mga bagong chismis(wahaha). Matapos nito ay “naglaro” kami ng lunuran este patagalan pala sa ilalim ng tubig habang nakabilog at magkakahawak ng kamay. Ilang beses pumalpak ang “laro” na ito dahil di malinaw ang mechanics pero anyways, masaya naman siya kahit paano.
Nang mag-ayawan na, nag-grupo grupo na ang mga samsters para sa kanya-kanyang chikahan. Ang mga nakakwentuhan ko tungkol sa buhay college ay sina Ate Madz, Ate Chloe, Ate Sarah, Kevin at Kuya Noriel na sa buong usapan ay hindi tumigil ang pagnonosebleed. Napag-usapan namin ang Yupi at ang UPCAT. This year kasi ay magtetake na ng pamatay na UPCAT si Kevin at ayun nagpapatulong sakin kahit ako sa sarili ako ay hindi alam kung anong himala ang nangyari kaya ako pumasa (wahaha! ‘nga pala, wala akong backer! Hindi pwede un sa UP, clarification lang sa tao na nag-isip nun, ahehe). Pinramis ko na ipapahiram ko sa kanya ang reviewer ko nung Catalinuhan review ng UP Lakan, ang tanging UPCAT review na naranasan ko. Sinira-siraan ko din ang mga walang kwentang review centers dahil sayang lang ito sa pera. Naikwento naman ni Ate Sarah ang panghihinayang niya sa hindi pag-try sa La Salle, di rin ako nag-try dun kasi di naman namin afford yun noh! Ahehe... Si Ate Chloe at Ate Claye ay sa PUP kaya magkikita-kita na kami ng madalas ‘pag nasa Manila na ako. Kung saan saan pa napunta ang usapan na lagi namang sinisingitan ng nagnonosebleed na si Kuya Noriel ng “hindi ko inintindi ang college basta pumasok nalang ako”, nang biglang dumating si Lolo Dave. 4pm na nun at isang oras na lang ay ieevict na kami mula sa pool, akala ko pa naman si Ate Ada na ang pinakamaaga! Hehe...
Sinimulan ang walang kamatayang piktyur teyking na pinangunahan ni Bea, ang aming official photographer. Lahat ng klaseng pose na maiisip mo, ginawa na namin, maging ang talon effect ay inulit-ulit naming gawin para lang maperpekto. Magaling din kumuha si Bea ng mga stolen shots kaya pati ang mga pinakapangit na ekspresyon ng aming mukha ay makikita sa mga larawan. Pahirapan na naman ito sa pagnanakaw este pag-gragrab pala sa kanikanilang mga multi.
Almost 5 na ng umahon ang lahat, karamihan ay kila Bea magbabanlaw dahil madumi daw ang tubig sa shower. Dun na lang din sana ako ng biglang sinabi ni Ate Sarah na ipang huling banlaw namin ang sumobrang purified water, sayang naman daw kasi itatapon lang. Dahil once in a lifetime lang ako maliligo ng tubig na purified, pumayag na din ako. Totoo nga, madumi ang tubig sa shower pagkat sandali pa lang ay mararamdaman mo na ang kalawang. Buti na lamang at sosyal ang pangbanlaw namin. Masarap pala itong ipaligo, habang nagbubuhos ay pwede mong inumin. Jowk! Pagkatapos ay iba ang aming pakiramdam at napaisip ako na what more kung gatas un tulad ng ginamit ni Cleopatra(waha!), di tuloy ako matigil sa kakasabi ng “purified water ang pinaligo namen!”. Natigil na lamang ako ng biglang mag-comment si Kevin. “Natural tubig kalawang unang ginamit niyo, edi pantay lang.” Oo nga naman, kaya after nun ay nanahimik na ako! Wuahaha...
Magsisix na ng kami’y namaalam sa isa’t-isa. Karamihan ay pupunta pa kila Bea samantalang kami didiretso nang umuwi, sabi ko pa naman kay Dadi, 6pm ay nasa bahay na ko! Nag-tricycle kami tapos nag-jeep, pagdating sa MRT ay nahiwalay na ako dahil magbubus na cla Ate Madz, Ate Sarah,Kevin at 2 SCC Cavite. Mag-isa na akong muli, mamimiss ko ang lahat ng samsters na nakasama ko.
Naglalakad ako papunta sa Shaw Blvd station at nagulat na lamang ako sa isa (nanaman) eksena sa aking harapan. Isang security guard ang may hinuling lalaki na snatcher ata base sa narinig ko sa mga chismosang nakakumpol sa tabi ng tingera ng sigarilyo. Huwaw! Kanina drama ngayon naman action! Kaya bago pa may maganap uling snatchan ay nagmadali na akong umalis , sa kabutihang palad ay maikli na ang pila. Ngunit sa kasamaang-palad muli, ay mukhang sardinas sa lata na ang mga tao sa loob ng tren, ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko kundi makisiksik dito. Pagdating sa North Ave ay mukha na akong nagahasa kaya pumasok ako sa Trinoma (huh? anu konek?). Dito ay nagtake-out ako ng hapunan sa KFC saka ako lumabas upang lumakad naman patungong SM dahil nandito ang terminal ng van pauwi sa Bulacan.
Nagsimula na ang aking byahe pauwi ngunit hindi pa rin ako makapagdesisyon kung sasama ako sa night swimming ng mga classmates ko sa 8waves. Matagal ang naganap na debate at sa huli ay sinabi ng katawan ko na pagod na siya. Pagbaba ng van ay nagtricycle ako pauwi sa bahay kung saan ako ay nag-iisa dahil si Bebs ay nasa bahay ng tito ko samantalang ang aking mga magulang ay nasa Manila para sa kanilang Dgroup Meeting. Natapos na ang isang mahabang araw. Nakakapagod pero naging masaya ang aking adbentyur. Sana maulit muli (bok2?)
PS:Matapos ang lahat ay may isang bagay na di mawala sa aking isipan. Ewan ko ba! Di ko na lang ilalagay dito dahil maguguluhan din kayo.
PS uli:Salamat nga pala sa pagbabasa ng kadaldalan ko...=)
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the latest news that definitely concerns you more than the ZTE scandal or rice hoarding issues do. tantananantanan... Gernie blogs again! Weeee.... But uhh-ohh... Just like before I'm having troubles in fixing my templates... Argh! I just hope that I can finish this before my boss fire me in my summer job...